Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things don’t go your way. Maybe you studied really hard for a test, but you didn’t get the grade you wanted. Or after being class president for two years, someone else won the position. Failure in all its forms is part of life. Sometimes when we fail we discover things about ourselves.
Learning how to cope with failure, and taking to heart the lessons derived from it, is how you grow as a person.
What If I Don’t Get Into My Dream School?
Failure can seem like the end of the world if it involves something you’ve always wanted, but it isn’t the end of everything. What if your skills aren’t good enough to major in one area? The skills you do have may be perfect for another area you haven’t explored yet. Maybe you don’t get into your dream school; you’ll still have lots of other great options full of academic and social opportunities. Sometimes you can do everything you can and still not succeed, and it’s okay for those situations to be really difficult.
Even if it feels like your best isn’t good enough, all anyone can ask from you is your best. Looking at yourself and knowing you tried your hardest is the important thing.
No matter where you end up attending school, you’ll have a great time. And if you were worried about missing out on a certain aspect of your ideal college, the school you end up attending will offer something similar. UVA — or whichever institution was your number one pick — isn’t the “be all, end all” for your chances at achieving your goals. Depending on your situation, needs and interests, your dream school might not even be the best fit for you; starting your college journey somewhere unexpected could turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
When Failing Feels Like the End of the World
Some students worry about failing in an academic setting. What happens now that they’ve failed that one test, or even a class? Worry and obsession can’t change that failure. All they can do is move on and learn from it. If failing was a result of an action or inaction on the student’s part, now they know what to do differently. Maybe there were factors outside of their control which contributed to failing. Those factors are important to keep in mind so that next time a similar situation arises, they can learn from it.
Failure happens to everyone at some point. Ask any adult you trust about a time they failed and odds are they’ll have more than one unique answer for you. Talking to adults about times they didn’t succeed can provide guidance for times you may not succeed. If these people you admire can move on and learn from those experiences, you can too.
Because failure is a part of life, you should never be afraid of it. Fear of failure can sometimes be worse than the actual act of failing. When the fear of failure overrides your desire to achieve your goals, you hurt yourself and your opportunities before you even have a chance to begin. Again, as long as you try your best and learn from your failure, you will end up where you need to be. So let yourself fail! Try out for the team or the play! Enter that competition! Write that paper!
You can’t fail if you don’t try, but neither can you succeed.
“Close your eyes, close your fists, and say, ‘I couldn’t have done it a fingernail faster.’ If you can say it, and mean it, I guarantee you it will be all right, no matter what happens. No regrets.”
—Diana Nyad, champion distance swimmer, in her book Find a Way.