Don’t Feel Guilty for Saying “No”

Are you all-in or all-out?

Have you ever been asked to do something that you didn’t really want to do, but did it anyway no-68481_640because it would be “easier” to say yes? You said yes, because you didn’t want to feel guilty, you didn’t want to have to explain yourself for denying the request, or it was something you felt you “should” do.

Those reasons for taking actions have very low energy, and it does no good for anyone for whom you perform the action, or for yourself. If you asked someone to do something for you, would you rather they do it reluctantly with low energy or would you rather they be positive with high energy? Which mindset leads to more success? The act that begins with positive, high energy.

A hint of a no is an all-no

As we get to know ourselves better, we learn what feels good for us to do and what doesn’t. It can cause us growing pains to realize that a lot of the times our desires don’t match up with our parents, peers, bosses, or romantic partners. But it’s a process to allow yourself to live according to your truth. If you get a heavy feeling in your stomach area, a feeling in your shoulders like it’s a burden, or lead feet like you can’t move forward—these are all signs that whatever is in front of you is a no for you. Even if it’s just a hint of no, it’s still an all-no. Because those hints will grow larger and larger until they become bashes and cause much pain.

After you discover what it feels like when something is a no for you, you don’t have to lie about it to make the requestor feel better (lying is another low vibration), you can simply say, “Thank you for asking, but that’s a no for me right now.” You might not be in alignment with the request at the moment, but things can change in the future. And it’s a good idea to keep a continuous conversation with your body and emotions to always come back to what is true for you.

Opening the door to your yes  

When you are able to act on your no, that is when doors can open to your yes. Your yes won’t be able to come in until the energetic gook of your no has cleared the way. And when your yes appears (some signs are feeling light and smiling when you think of the option), go all-in. Going all-in to your yes will clear the way to more yeses. Remembering to go all-out along the way when it’s a no, so when that yes appears act with high, positive energy and ride that wave to success.

Stacy Ison (CLAS ’94) is a Certified Life Coach. Formerly practicing corporate and intellectual property law, Stacy is a published author and speaker who found her bliss helping people transform their energy and take their lives to the next level. You can find out more about her services and sign up for free newsletters at


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